Life is Beautiful ...

Life is full of amazing surprises…Sometimes it makes you shiver and cry…Sometimes it brings you joy and laugh on high…Sometimes it says nice hellos …Sometimes it bids painful good-byes…Life is full of hopes and wondrous graces…Sometimes we see it, sometimes we don't…Sometimes we just sit and wait for our stars to come out…Sometimes we just close our eyes and let the day pass with a sigh…Sometimes we lift up everything on high and say let it be…But life goes on beyond laughters and tears, hopes and wishes…Life awaits hopeful beginnings to those who can truly accept painful endings …Life treasures long friendships to those who can endure agonizing distances…Life moves mountains to those who can struggle weak knees and fretful hearts…Life brings forth a beautiful journey to those who really believe and make life beautiful.


Everyone has his own creative way of starting a new year. I started mine dusting up and recollecting my old memory files. As far as I can remember, those memory trinkets I have kept were ten or fifteen years ago but it seems like the words and the memories are as fresh as those good old days. I should have created my own memory museum to capture and preserve all of these. Would you imagine our happy childhood days when love letters are finely written in sweet scented stationeries and cards are well crafted with beautiful words and sincerest feelings of love and friendship? And who can forget the smiley faces, the beautiful collection of scents and stickers, the secret pen names, the poetic words, and heart-warming flatteries? Ahhh…those were the days of great adventures…carefree moments of creating dreams and wishes…and literally, an era of simplicity and hopefulness.

Yes, sometimes it’s good to think of happy memories when you are bombarded with uncontrollable spills of life. It clears your perspective and somehow, makes you feel not all days are bad and this one will soon pass. Perhaps, some of us went through days of faltering faith, tormenting nights of tears and worries, and unending race to nowhere. I did, and I still do from time to time. There are times, when I just don’t know how to pray and say thank you. There are times, when I get so impatient and too confident to do things on my own. There are times, when I expect too much and ended up so distressed with my expectations. There are times when my own race of life becomes meaningless and exhausting. But despite these low tide moments of my life, I realized, life is, and can always be beautiful if I choose it to become beautiful.

Would you believe, there is always beauty in every detail of our ordinary existence? There is beauty in the failure of our dreams…it motivates us to get up and learn and start again building new dreams. There is beauty in the parting of lives…it brings us to another beginning and a time to begin a fresh new life. There is beauty in being heart broken…it restores our hearts and makes our soul strong after the wound has healed. There is beauty in not having enough money…it makes us contented in living a simple life. There is beauty in patiently waiting for our destiny… it makes us realize even if the waiting takes a lifetime, everything will be worth the wait. There is beauty in being restless…it makes you cling to a great God and yearns for his protective embrace.

Indeed, there is beauty in love and pain…in high tides and low tides… in success and failures…in joy and sadness…in hellos and goodbyes…in certainty and ambiguity…in life and death. And remember, life can always be beautiful if you make it so.

Because She Is A Mother….

This is a tribute to my wonderful Nanay, and to all those brave women who would be soon become mothers.

Because she is a mother…
She watches over you when you go to sleep
She wakes up every time you open your eyes
She worries when you shed out tears and cry so hard
She laughs when you show her your first tricks
She dances with joy when you call her ‘mommy’

Because she is a mother…
She senses the touch of your hands
She feels the silence of your pain
She knows the surprises of your life
She dreams the sky of your happiness
She embraces the whole of your being

Because she is a mother…
She wishes… you embrace her so close in your heart
She yearns… you shower her with everyday kisses
She prays… you appreciate her uncomplaining love
She hopes…you make the very best out of your life
She dreams…you fly high yet have your feet on the ground

Because she is a mother…
She endures…she suffers…she forgives.

Because she is a mother…
She cares…she trusts…she loves with all her heart and soul.

Your Sunniest Day!

The sunniest day should be yours today
Because the sky is clear and the clouds are happy

The sunniest day should be yours today
Because the birds are singing and the sea is breezy

The sunniest day should be yours today
Because the flowers are blooming and the butterflies are busy

The sunniest day should be yours today
Because your world is blessed and your smiles are plenty

The sunniest day should be yours today
Because I found you and that make you lucky.

The sunniest day should be yours today
Because my heart says I love you and that extends to infinity.

Land of Haste...

I was browsing my old files, and i found this piece...i wrote this when i was just starting my new life in this new place. I didn't know the "Land of Haste" i used to call, would be my new found home. I'm glad not only I've come to learn the rules in this land, but also I've learn to found love in this place.

Land of Haste...

I was only here in this new place for a week but it seems like I was cruising an eternity of haste. “Culture shock” may be a strong term to describe what I was undergoing, but somehow some events caught me unprepared, which undeniably gave a “little shock on my nerves.” This kind of ‘rush life’ is never new for most people here. But if you are a “fragile soul” and are used to a serene, organized way of living, then you will be like “a hermit being deprived of your seclusion and thrown in the middle of the noisy and crowded world.”

But there’s nothing wrong about living a “rush life”. In fact, it amazed me to see how these people could thrive in this defiled, busy, and crowded environment. Or how these people--young and old alike--run after buses as they commute everyday and cross the speedy express ways and skyways. Or how these people endure outrageous traffic jams everywhere on the streets and tolerate the smokes and gases emitted on air. Or how these people ordinarily anticipate floods when it rains. Or how these people amazingly survive in this “land of haste.”

There are actually a lot of things in here that I, and probably, some of you out there, would not dare doing or would not bear undergoing! Surviving is never easy in this land of haste, much more, to survive with every piece of your heart, mind and soul still intact. Probably reason why, toughness rather than tenderness sparks from these people. Everything ,whether how tough it is, they do just to survive gracefully in this land of haste.

But despite of its negative side, it is still exhilarating to know a world like this exists. I knew it does but I never actually realize it would be like this. Certainly things didn’t happen overnight for these people. They must have undergone tough moments as well as long and arduous adjustment period before they finally set their nerves in place.

Finally, here’s another lesson I got in here:

“Life is a battlefield and every man is a soldier. If you are weak, you die, if you are strong, you survive. And the strong should command, should lead, should dominate.”

Hopefully, I’ll soon learn the rules in this land of haste.

Love's Fascination...

I found love when I was not searching
I sought faith when I was not faltering
I saw destiny when I was not looking
In God’s perfect plan, I found love
In God’s perfect love, I found you.

I’ve been into places, seeing different faces
But I haven’t found a face I wanted to dream at night
I’ve been up there above the clouds, soaring the sky
But I haven’t gone-sky high the way when I’m with you

Love takes wings and soar me on high
Love carries me at the far ends of the earth
Love creates all higher possibilities
Love gives me the greatest miracle I’ve ever imagined


a love poem for Neil and Jenny....

A Beautiful Soul...

He is there to wake me up each morning…
He is there to fill my day with joy and anticipation…
He is there to create beautiful sketches in my sky…
He is there to sprinkle water when I’m suffering from life’s parchedness…
He is there to patiently listen to my hundred and one story…
He is simply there to remind me of God’s amazing love.

Thank you, Oh Lord, for such a beautiful soul you put in my world.

When you marry...

marry her statistics and your love shall be measured.
marry her mercifulness and you shall be spared anxiety.
marry her success and you shall find yourself competing with her.

marry her passions and you shall easily outgrow yours.
marry her vitality and you shall always be charging your batteries.
marry her practicality and you shall expect drought in your pocket.
marry her simplicity and you shall soon try to escape from monotony.

marry her sensibility and you shall lose your whimsical tendency.
marry her strange and subtle ways ,
and you shall become more ordinary.
marry her charm and beauty,
and your love shall cease when beauty fades.
but marry her heart and soul, and you shall grow old with her.

To Where You Are...

To where you are, there I will be…
Holding your hands and protecting thee…
Watching you grow and making you see…
Life is more beautiful when you came to me.


To where you are, there I will be…
Giving you strength and loving thee…
Sharing your dreams and letting you be…
The light and love that will always sustain me.


To where you are, there I will be…
I will find your soul and start my journey…
I will reach the sky and follow my destiny…
It is You…and only be You throughout eternity.

A wedding poem for Vey and Joey...

Thoughts...

Thoughts that linger, it keep my mind to ponder.
Thoughts that shiver, it urge my heart to wonder.
Thoughts that breather, it put my soul to slumber.

Thoughts from nowhere, recollect the bits of laughter,
Reminisce the pains of a tear,
Overpower the pangs of a dismal year,
Anticipate the joys of forever.

Thoughts may break of rectify me,
Thoughts may curse or bless me
Thoughts may make me an angel or a devil,
Thoughts may bring me heaven on earth or earth on heaven.

Thoughts let me live.
Thoughts let me die.
Thoughts will always be my precious bead.

THANK YOU...

Thank You…When someone utters these words spontaneously and with all sincerity, my heart dances with euphoria. When I give someone a gift, a favor, Or a portion of my precious time, I ought to have something in return. But that something doesn’t have to be an expensive gift, a remarkable favor, or a return for my precious time. All I need to give you back to me is your sincerest thank you.

It’s not actually the idea of expecting always something in return, but it is the remarkable feeling of joy that I get from being appreciated and thanked for. For I understand, the spirit of giving does not end with the gift being given to you. Rather it continues when you give thanks and make another person feel good.

You see, if the human race knows the importance of thank-yous in our lives,we could have prevented thousands of people from being miserable and distressed. We could have put a spark of hope in their lives,by simply thanking them for creating a difference in us. We could have move mountains and lift a soul by our simple whisper of thank you. And perhaps, if all of us take time to make it a habit to say that simple thank you, we could have created heaven in the middle of the world.

That is why, if there’s one word left in the world, I want it to be…THANK YOU!

Roller coaster...

Roller coaster is unpredictable. You get in, you sit down, and you’re strapped on. You’re there for the ride. And then you go up, then you go down, and your stomach feels like it’s falling out of your body. It’s so exciting and you’re scared and you don’t know where you’re going and you don’t know what’s happening next. It just goes around and around and around.

Life is like a roller coaster. You just get on, and you’re there for the ride. You go up, you go down, you make mistakes, you get praises, you feel good, you feel bad, you tell the truth, you tell lies, you get a slap on your face, you get an honest reward, you win some, you lose some, you love today, you will be out of love tomorrow.

Like a roller coaster, everything in life is uncertain. No one stays on top no one remains at the bottom neither one clings at the center. It may not be given as a choice but everyone can have the chance to have a good ride in the roller coaster of life.

Ring of Fate

It’s amazing how events take place and link people to follow the course of destiny. Sometimes, we think why certain people are put in our path and unconsciously transform our lives. Sometimes, we don’t understand why bridges are build to mend broken relationships. Sometimes, we need to cry but we hold back those tears from falling and we ask, why can’t we cry? Sometimes, to forgive seems so easy but to forget is really tough to remember. Sometimes, we question why it has to be this way and not that way. Sometimes, we wish things didn’t happen. Sometimes, we wish things happened. Sometimes, we wish a lot of things. Sometimes, we don’t wish at all because we’re tired of wishing. Sometimes, we doubt whether destiny is real or not. Sometimes, we don’t know if we are living towards our own destiny or going somewhere else. Sometimes, we falter on our faith and slowly cease on hoping. Yet, sometimes hope never totally abandons us. With a tiny spark of hope left within us, we let fate takes its own course because that’s the way life should be. Like the ring of fate, we carry strongly in our hearts the faith that, one day we will all reach the place destined for each one of us.

In Its Own Time...

Perhaps the best way to achieve freedom in your life is to know and decide when and where you want to put your own hole in the sky. Luckily, I’ve seen myself thriving in this dimension. I may had exerted an ordinary effort, or spent an ordinary time, or found an ordinary place, or make friends with ordinary people, yet the learning I’ve had weren’t ordinary at all. Each of us goes through a transition stage. We don’t exactly know what we want, where we should be or what we see ourselves to be. Perhaps, I am passing through that time now. There is this feeling of wanting for more, of giving another best shot, of harnessing what I believe is there to cultivate, of taking risk, of learning more . There are a lot of things I want to do... there is my passion to publish and author a book... there is my vision of seeing myself as a great speaker and trainer... there is my hallucination of being a psychologist... there is my hidden cry to become a nun... there is my desire to be like Ally Mcbeal, the lawyer... there is my fervent prayer of becoming an angel in heaven... so many things I want, so many dreams I wish...thank God, dreams and wishes are freely given! Yet I found myself gasping for air, breathlessly confused of where I am now. It seems like life offers me with so many beautiful things, yet I keep on craving for other things...and I’m afraid to see myself holding with nothing!

Opportunities, I said to myself, are not circumscribed to one soul and so is bad luck. Everyone must have his own chance of taking a win or a loss in the gamble of life and so am I . I know I won’t have it all at the same time but I can have those things in its own time. As the maxim goes, ‘do one tick at a time.” And the flower will die or bloom in its own time...and the bird will rest or soar in its own time...and the waves will rise or fall in its own time...and love will hurt or inspire in its own time...and life will perpetuate or cease in its own time... for everything has its own season, every season has its own dimension, every dimension has its own reason, and every reason has its own time.

So I won’t let that moment slip through my fingers, it may not come to me again. Rather, I would savor its presence while its there. I would take time to smell the roses, or see the butterfly flies, or appreciate the moon and the stars as they shine at night. I would rather talk less and listen more to what the experience is telling me. I would say more ‘I love you,” and more “I am sorry,” even if the circumstance does not require. And mostly, I would give my best shot at life, seize every moment, look at it and really see it and live it and love it --- for it will never come back!

Images Of Love...

I never knew love could be a teacher...it can patiently transform the minds…it can persistently teach the heart with values…it can continuously enlighten the path on life’s highways…it can eternally create marks on our lives.

I never knew love could be an activist…it can confidently cry out to the street his lamentations…it can bravely fight for his dreams and convictions…it can explicitly uncover his pretensions…it can certainly express his noble intentions.

I never knew love could be an artist…it can do charcoal portrait of pains, jealousies, and hurt…it can fill the canvass of the heart with different shades and hues…it can simply draw beautiful sketches of love’s memories…it can interpret the unfathomable ways of love with its abstract.

I never knew love could be a saint…it can bear all sufferings without hesitations…it can endure all pains without questions…it can give without returns and conditions…it can give up his life for his faith and convictions.

But most of all…I never knew love could be you. And that I could love the way I have loved and will always love you!

The Day I Found Love….

Here’s a short love piece coming from Redpouch’s heart. This feeling is so good that she’s spreading the virus to all her mushroom friends. And please help her pray love like this will live on and on and on…not just for Redpouch but to each and every soul waiting for one true love. Redpouch also want to advocate one important lesson in life…the power of waiting and believing in the wonders of God’s perfect plan for each one of us. Love is not about searching for the right person. It’s about waiting for that right person to come in your life. Love is meeting God’s Perfect Choice for each one of us, that even if waiting sometimes feels like forever, it doesn’t matter, because everything will all be worth the wait. And this is where the amazing power of the Invisible Hand works wonders.

The Day I Found Love….

The day I found love…my world completely changed! It was like a 360-degree twist from the world I came in. I never imagined love could be this good. I never thought I could be this certain with my feelings and with the person I love. I never thought I could meet so soon the person I want to grow old with. I never saw life and love as precious as I am seeing now. Yes, I am feeling love and it is love that keeps my world up and running.

It is true that if you’re deeply in love you can literally touch the moon and gather stars in heaven. You can be awake all night and just be fulfilled gazing the moonlight and wishing in the stars. You can just close your eyes and be where you want to be in this world. You have the power within to fly like a butterfly. You can build your own castle in the air. You can dream out loud and aim high as the sky. You can get unlucky sometimes, yet it doesn’t drown you to misery. Neither fatigue nor sleepiness can drop you down. Neither physical pain nor toxic environment can affect your state of mind. You are in your precious state, and nothing or no one can break the wall. Yes, if love is real, it can make you do wonderful things.

The day I found you, I found faith
All doubts vanished, all confusions cleared
Nothing seemed to matter but the present
I no longer falter and shiver like I used to
All I know, the Invisible Hand works wonders.

The day I found you, I found hope
I can turn every complexity into great possibilities
I can soar like I’ve never soared in my entire life
I can dream whatever dream I wished and hoped
I can be my ordinary self and be great the way I am

The day I found you, I found love
An unexplained feeling of life’s completeness
An overwhelming joy of being loved and protected
An unceasing thankfulness for one great unconditional love
An amazing discovery of God’s perfect plan for both of us

When Love Sets In...

Life is full of surprises and fascination. You wouldn't know when, how, or who you would meet along life's freeway. You couldn't even imagine the reason why such a thing should exist. But it will happen if your story is written by the One who made the stars and heaven. Would you imagine, on the day we launched our first issue, Redpouch found a new life... and her world was suddenly filled with never-ending poetry and music.

Every poem has a mystery. Each word is written with intense feeling... an unexplained feeling of joy and wonder... a feeling that simply overwhelms. Each line bares the writer's soul... a soul that truly found the greatest miracle of all... the magic of love. So as thoughts of this piece dawned on me, I was not surprised at all. Yes, I am feeling love, and it is love that is working miracles in me now. As the words of Lydia Child remind us, "To each and every one of us, love gives the power of working miracles if we will." So let love work on you and see how love can take wing. I just did.

When love Sets In....


Love goes on in an endless search.
A search for who...a search for how...
A search for when is the right time for that right person
The search goes on and on like an endless cycle
No one knows when it will stop or find its rest
One will only know when destiny calls and love sets in.


When love sets in...
No pain can ever hurt
No load can ever burden
No feet can ever stumble
No excuse can ever hamper

When love sets in...
No music can ever be so sweet
No moon can ever be so romantic
No mile can ever be too far
No sky can ever be too high

When love sets in...
Your energy never ceases
Your spirit never sleeps
Your heart never cries
Your soul never doubts

When love sets in...
No heart can ever flee...
It will just surrender sweetly....

Hope from the Mushroom

It rained hard, not outside but more on the inside.
Tears of pain flooded me as if I was pierced with thorns of sorrow.

So I walked through the woods today hoping I could find solace
Then I stumbled a soft, fragile, little mushy thing called redpouch.
In my delight I picked it up and put it in my palm
There, the little thing looked so beautiful and calm
As if telling me, “Hey, why so sad? The world is not that bad!
You just have to smile and everything will be glad.
Lift your worries on air and the wind will carry it away.
Dream your dream and your life will begin.”

Filled with hope, I strolled my way home
Amazed by the lesson I’ve learned from that little red thing
She seemed so weak and mushy but she brought my soul to life
That even though I wanted her with me, I left her free
Yes, I left redpouch in the woods but I took with me her giant hope.


Copyright ©2004 Chille Pineda Cabrillos

Greet this day with LOVE…

Hello, friends….
It has been three months since I’ve come out and finally open our strongbox again. Three long months…and I got my mind blocked out with transitions. There were lots of big and small events in my life. There were painful goodbyes from old good friends…there were happy memories shared with new found friends…there were ‘BRING IT ON” victories that are now stored in my little treasures urn …there were tasks that seemed to be unending and no meaning yet I kept on doing and doing. Oh…so many things took place…too many, perhaps, that I didn’t know how to sit down and feel the magic of words. Would you believe, I got scared I might not be able to go back and write again? Maybe the numbers have overpowered the words inside me that I got locked up inside, wanting to scream something, yet I didn’t know how to express it. But they say, sometimes, it’s a normal thing to be locked up inside our souls. We don’t know why, we don’t know how…but we’re just there feeling imprisoned and numb inside, as if we’re just walking aimlessly to the sea of life. And then another minute or another hour or maybe another day or month, we’ll be surprised to wake up being recharged and renewed as if an angel had kissed our souls. Yes, I’ve gone through that stage and now I’m feeling happy and renewed, as if an angel had truly kissed and touched my soul. Call it magic. Call it faith. Call it hope. Call it love. Whatever you believe that is, it brought a miracle in me.

As we start a new year of journey, let me share with you inspiring thoughts from my favorite man, Og Mandino. His words are truly magical that it moved me so much that I can’t help but to share it to everyone dear to me. His words are too awesome that I can’t afford to distort it with my own words. So here it is… a complete unedited copy of the Scroll Marked II from “The Greatest Salesman in the World.”

Happy New Year and start this year with love in your heart!

Keep dreaming…
Chille:)


The Scroll Marked II

I will greet this day with love in my heart.
For this is the greatest secret of success in all ventures.
Muscle can split a shield and even destroy life but only the unseen power of love can open the hearts of men and until I master this art I will remain no more than a peddler in the market place. I will make love my greatest weapon and none on whom I call can defend against its force.
My reasoning they may counter; my speech they may distrust; my apparel they may disapprove; my face they may reject; and even my bargains may cause them suspicion; yet my love will melt all hearts liken to the sun whose rays soften the coldest clay.
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
And how will I do this? Henceforth will I look on all things with love and I will be born again. I will love the sun for it warms my bones; yet I will love the rain for it cleanses my spirit. I will love the darkness for it shows me the stars. I will welcome happiness for it enlarges my heart; yet I will endure sadness for it opens my soul. I will acknowledge rewards for they are my due; yet I will welcome obstacles for they are my challenge.
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
And how will I speak? I will laud mine enemies and they will become friends; I will encourage my friends and they will become brothers. Always will I dig for reasons to applaud; never will I scratch for excuses to gossip. When I am tempted to criticize I will bite on my tongue; when I am moved to praise I will shout from the roofs.
Is it not so that birds, the wind, the sea and all nature speaks with the music of praise for their creator? Cannot I speak with the same music to his children? Henceforth will I remember this secret and it will change my life.
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
And how will I act? I will love all manners of men for each has qualities to be admired even though they be hidden. With love I will tear down the wall of suspicion and hate which they have built around their hearts and in its place will I build bridges so that my love may enter their souls.
I will love the ambitious for they can inspire me; I will love the failures for they can teach me. I will love the kings for they are but human; I will love the meek for they are divine. I will love the rich for they are yet lonely; I will love the poor for they are so many. I will love the young for the faith they hold; I will love the old for the wisdom they share. I will love the beautiful for their eyes of sadness; I will love the ugly for their souls of peace.
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
But how will I react to the actions of others? With love. For just as love is my weapon to open the hearts of men, love is also my shield to repulse the arrows of hate and the spears of anger. Adversity and discouragement will beat against my new shield and become as the softest of rains. My shield will protect me in the market place and sustain me when I am alone. It will uplift me in moments of despair yet it will calm me in time of exultation. It will become stronger and more protective with use until one day I will cast it aside and walk unencumbered among all manners of men, and, when I do, my name will be raised high on the pyramid of life.
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
And how will I confront each whom I meet? In only one way. In silence and to myself I will address him and say I Love You. Though spoken in silence these words will shine in my eyes, unwrinkled my brow, bring a smile to my lips, and echo in my voice; and his heart will be opened. And who is there who will say nay to my goods when his heart feels my love/
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
And most of all I will love myself. For when I do will zealously inspect all things which enter my body, my mind, my soul, and my heart. Never will I overindulge the requests of my flesh, rather I will cherish my body with cleanliness and moderation. Never will I allow my mind to be attracted to evil and despair, rather I will uplift it with the knowledge and wisdom of the ages. Never will I allow my soul to become complacent and satisfied, rather I will feed it with meditation and prayer. Never will I allow my heart to become small and bitter, rather I will share it and it will grow and warm the earth.
I will greet this day with love in my heart.
Henceforth will I love all mankind. From this moment all hate is let from my veins for I have no time to hate, only time to love. From this moment I take the first step required to become a man among men. With love I will increase my sales a hundredfold and become a great salesman. If I have no other qualities I can succeed with love alone. Without it I will fail though I possess all the knowledge and skills of the world.
I will greet this day with love, and I will succeed.

-Taken from Og Mandino’s The Greatest Salesman in the World & The Greatest Secret in the World.

from Spice & Chills Strongbox…2004 ed. Vol. 1 Jan 2004

ONLY TIME…

Hello, friends….
Finally, the wedding mania is over. I was busy lately helping with my brother’s wedding that I was thoroughly immersed with the little touchy details that I thought wedding planning is as difficult as finding your groom or bride-to-be these days. I was having vertigo worrying the whole thing, as if it was my wedding! But now I realized, it was not about the panic of the preparation, but the fact that I’m losing a brother (physically!) made me nostalgic. It’s quite funny but I felt that way. I expected wedding day would come to him but I never imagined this day would come too soon. Would you imagine, just composing this piece brought tears to my eyes?

Keep dreaming…
Chille:)


I am Chill. My brother’s name is Jig. Jig & Chill echoes like Jack & Jill, right? I was born, the day after Jig celebrated his very first birthday, which means, he wasn’t able to continue his being reigning star of the family because I intruded. Probably, if he can raise his voice at that time he would object my intrusion. I’m sure he was thinking “how could our parents brought me in when he was just starting to enjoy the world? What would happen to him being put in the middle of an older and younger sister? But luckily he cannot so he didn’t. So I came in and most people thought I’m going to dethrone him of my parent’s attention. On the contrary, it didn’t happen. Siblings’ rivalry was never a problem in our family. In fact, our one-year gap brings us even closer to each other… forming identities and bridging differences. At that time, my older sister Polly found her fondness in dancing and music. Jig was good in drawing and funny tricks and I was hooked in writing, arts and books. But when our younger siblings-- April and Cyril-- came in they carried some of our semblances, but tried to set their own unique niches independently. April is a natural comic and spontaneous soul like Jig while Cyril has found passion for creative arts, as inspired by me and my sister Polly.

Jig and I grew up like twins. The difference maybe, he grew up so fast and tall that I was left growing up slowly and small. Aside from celebrating the same birthday (our official celebration has always been March 16…to save money for blow-out!J), we also have the same set of childhood friends. We were classmates since Grade 1 until our high school years. That’s why we were always successful in deceiving our classmates that we were really born twins. I remember at that time we were not allowed to go home without each other’s company. The burden was heavier for him because he was explicitly tasked of taking care of me. So sometimes, if one of us wanted to do some gimmicks with our own set of friends, we needed to lie to our mom that we have some group study in school or sometimes Jig would instruct me to wait for him at the waiting shed of our village then we’ll walk home together as if we both came from school. Nice tricks huh? There was also a time when he had his right hand caught by a firecracker that I had to do all his formal themes and exams and other assignments in school because he can’t move his hand for a month. I think that was the start of my career as his personal assistant and secretary. He became too dependent on me when it comes to assignments and exams and projects. Would you imagine, he didn’t have a notebook of his own in some of our subjects because he thought what’s the point of having a sister for a classmate if he’ll keep the same notebook as mine? Well, that’s a good point to consider. Not all brothers are blessed with a sister and a classmate rolled into one, right? So I think, he’s just appreciating his gift. As for me, I loved being protected by a big brother like Jig and I enjoyed being tagged as his replicated twin sister, his ever-loyal classmate, and his forever-family crime partner.

When college days came, we had to separate ways. Jig enrolled in TUP-Bacolod while I was accepted at UP-Iloilo. It was tough at first to be physically separated and deported from home. I didn’t have a Jig to make assignments or projects. I didn’t have a Jig to wait for me after school and walk me home. I didn’t have a Jig to protect me far away from home. But those times of not having him made me brave. I got the message that I have to learn how to find my own niche as Jig would soon find his own.

Like today, Jig has come to one of the best times of his lifetime. He finally finds where and who he wants to be and where and whom he wants to rest his heart. He is moving to another important stage of his life. The stage I have never imagined to happen so fast that I, my mom, my dad, and the rest of the family weren’t prepared to face gracefully. We are expecting it to happen but not so soon like this. Maybe, it’s really true that if love finds the right person and the right time, you will also find the right reason to allow it to bloom. And no one, but time, can ever hold, or let go, or suppress what love wants to express. As Enya puts in her song, “Only time can say where the road goes, where the day flows … Only time can say if your love grows as your heart chose. …Only time can say why your heart sighs as your love flies…Only time can say why your heart cries when your love lies…Only time can say that love might be in your heart.”

And yes, to you Khaye, we are more than happy to welcome you in our family. Rest assured that you have found a good soul in my brother. I would like to let you know that knowing my brother Jig, I can say and vouched that he has never loved a soul as intensely… and sincerely… and amazingly as he has loved you and will love you more each day as you start a new life together. Congratulations and I wish you both enough happiness to keep your new life strong and full of blessings.

Now, I realized this moment doesn’t mean losing a brother at all…but rather gaining another sister, gaining another friend…gaining another member of our family.

from Spice & Chills Strongbox…2003 ed. Vol. 12 Jan 2004

When The Heart Cries…

You wake up one morning and you know it wouldn’t be as good as it was a week ago…the reason…you lost him or you lost her...

Maybe, you’re right. It’s hard for “us” to relate with “your” world. We cannot exactly feel how you feel or say, “we know what you’re going through,” because no one does except you. For sure, no words can comfort you at all. No stories can make you feel better now. Seeing familiar places may hurt you more…or just listening to familiar songs may get you more nostalgic…how much much more remembering him or her?

It’s really bad to be in this circumstance, right? I have my own feeling of how “tough” it is to be there, but I know I can’t contain the feeling of pain that you have in your heart right now. I may not know the exact feeling, but I can try to understand, if you let me.

Hey, I think it’s okay to cry…cry out loud…cry out some more…let those pillows get wet every night…let those tears somehow wash away your pain. You will feel better after you’ve cried enough. But when is crying enough? It’s up to you. It’s you and your heart who can say when and how much you want to cry.

When your heat is badly broken, you feel it was shattered into tiny pieces and wanting to explode, right? Maybe you wished you will just vanish into thin air and forget about everything. Maybe you wished. Maybe I would wish the same, too. Or maybe, we all would wish the same thing.

But things aren’t that way in the real world. And for sure, He wouldn’t want us to act that way, either. We have to go beyond the event and understand the reason why it has to happen.Everything happens for a reason, right? Then, for sure, this one has too!
I know it’s easy for me to say this because I’m not in your shoes right now and I don’t feel your pain. You’re right! But would you want to wear that same shoes for too long? When would be the right time to decide changing shoes? It’s too early I guess to say, “forget about the whole thing and move on with your life!” I wouldn’t tell you to do that. There’s a lot of things to be learned in here if you just open your heart and let your mind speak up for yourself too.

Lesson one, maybe…this is just a test of how strong your relationship can be…how far can both of you go and save the love…is it worth saving?…is love too strong to keep it intact? They say, love is sweeter the second time around. Maybe.

Lesson two, maybe…one of you needs to grow apart from each other. Probably, you have shared what you need to share to that soul, and its time now to spread your wings and take another journey. Or it could be another way? Maybe, he needs to try his wings and learn how to fly up there all by himself.

Lesson three, maybe…either soul has outgrown the routines of love. It just came to a point when love has gone down and the hearts have become too expectant of each other…that when expectations are not met somehow, one feels, love has diminished to some extent. So probably, time to change strategy…make surprises…change love? I don’t know.

Lesson four, maybe…it really has to be that way. That simple! So you just have to bear with it and remain strong. For after you’ve gone through it, you’ll be happy to say, “Once I have loved and lost, and it hurt me. But I have learned my lesson. Now, I survived it, and I’m glad…Now I won’t be scared to love again and learn more until I find the one God has destined for me.”

So the next time your heart cries, don’t just let the tears flow…listen to what it tells you.

from Spice & Chills Strongbox…2003 ed. Vol. 11